Not on the Same Page

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nulla euismod condimentum felis vitae efficitur. Sed vel dictum quam, at blandit leo.

When a partner is in active trauma, expecting them to soothe an anxious attachment response is clinically counterproductive. An avoidant partner in trauma cannot be the source of reassurance for the anxiety created by their own withdrawal.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nulla euismod condimentum felis vitae efficitur. Sed vel dictum quam, at blandit leo.

Reassurance in this state must be self-sourced through internal self-soothing, boundary maintenance, and external support systems, rather than requested from the grieving partner. Agency in this situation does not come from changing his capacity to respond. It comes from how she manages her own internal world and establishes her own boundaries in response to his current state.