Love.

Love as Your True North

I’m so thankful for my Catholic school upbringing because the nuns really helped shape us - with rules, and rulers, and guilt – to look outward with compassion.  In all seriousness, we were given many opportunities to help others and I value that aspect of my upbringing so much.

In Catholic grade school at St. George’s, it was a very big deal during Lent (the 40 days leading up to Easter) to receive our little cardboard boxes for Operation Rice Bowl. The nuns encouraged us to go without and use the money we would have spent on ourselves to give to the less fortunate.  The good sisters would impress upon us that there were many extremely poor children in the world who didn’t have running water, adequate clothing or enough food. Pictures of little children with sunken-in eyes and protruding rib cages took away our appetites at lunch time, perhaps strategically so we would forego the chocolate milk money.  

During Mass on Palm Sunday, the jingle of thousands of pennies rang through the church as our little boxes were placed into the whicker usher baskets.  Thee donations  were given to Catholic Relief Services to fund initiatives on global hunger, agriculture, and educational programs in third world countries.  It was then that I learned that sharing was more than being nice, but a kindness that extended beyond my little world.

My Catholic high school, Villa, gave us up-close opportunities to help chronic populations in need.  Serving hot meals and wiping down folding tables at the local soup kitchen was a rite of passage for VMA girls. It was so difficult to see all the families with the sadness in their eyes.  I remember a little girl who giddily received a roll from me.  She took it back to the too-big chair with her family and her tell-tale smile said so much.  That experience was so important for me - to really see that the world around me was hurting. 

Villa had a Campus Ministry program that was dedicated to volunteerism.  This was my favorite of all the activities I joined, even moreso than The Villa Notes newspaper!  One year I was a representative for our Thanksgiving family adoption program. Each homeroom collected money for families in need, but instead of giving it to CRS, we provided the love directly. 

My homeroom raised a substantial amount and I was given a shopping list to go to buy our adopted family a Thanksgiving dinner and presents for Christmas.  My boyfriend went with me to Loblaw’s for the groceries then on to K-Mart to buy toys and clothing for all the children on the list.  Thank goodness he was with me because the family lived on the second floor of a house.  There were so many items to pass along to them that it took us five trips up and down the stairs to complete our delivery!  I will never forget the mother’s reaction because I think it was one of the first times I had ever witnessed someone overcome.  Her eyes avoided us and she could barely speak, but repeated “thank you” many times. This experience taught me that love was a verb, not just a feeling.  It is an active decision to exert your own energy for someone else's comfort.

As a professional, my first job was going into homes of people who were on the cusp of losing their children to foster care or termination of parental rights.  Watching a mother gain skills to keep her family intact taught me that the gifts God gave to me were meant to share with others.  My coworker and I taught a mentally ill mother how to clean her kitchen with Pine-sol and Comet cleanser.  We scraped a few dead rodents off the linoleum whose remains had congealed to the floor.

The first case I had was by far the worst case of child neglect and poverty I saw in my entire career. After work that day, I came home and took a shower in a bathroom that I previously hated.  The green shag carpet needed replacing.  The tiles were falling out, waiting on repairs.  I remember my feet touching the floor and thinking, “I am beyond blessed.  I have zero to complain about.”  This experience gave me perspective and a much greater level of compassion.