Forever Altered
Bucket List Destination: Ruby Beach, Washington August 23, 2025
The death of my husband was a defining moment in my life that fundamentally and forever changed me. The person I was before he passed no longer exists. I continue to acquaint myself with this new person as integrating the loss continues to impact every facet of my life. Grief never ends, nor does the transformation. The process is challenging. This is normal. This is the grief journey. This is how grief changed me.
Bucket List Destination: Yellowstone National Park
Time is meaningful and I live intentionally.
I don’t hold back my sincerity and I lead with love.
I attempt to live with no regrets.
Carpe Diem. The drum beats swiftly and once the pages are turned, you can never go back.
Azaleas in Maple Valley, WA May 5, 2026
My values honed further into what matters most.
My compassion for others multiplied.
My sense of safety and security broke as reality took away assumptive beliefs such as “happily ever after” and “good comes to those who do good.” The old rule book was inaccurate and discarded.
I became realistic with my vulnerability in a world where chaos was more prevalent than I understood.
The fragility and uncertainty of life gave me perspective on both our insignificance and our significance. My life is everything I have, and also nothing at all.
Sunrise over the Cascades Maple Valley, WA November 21, 2023
Forgiveness comes much quicker and anger much slower. I take responsibility swiftly and apologize more freely.
I acquiesce that there will be more unanswered questions than I will ever have answers for, and must not get stuck pondering that which won’t be revealed.
Healing occurs in nature. It is imperative to spend time there. It’s where we come from and where we belong.
I’ve learned that uncomfortable feelings are teachers and shouldn’t be avoided but thanked and heeded.
My definition of self was fundamentally challenged. Who I was and why that mattered so much to me continues to be shaken.
Everyone is temporary. Accepting this doesn’t mean liking it.
Life isn’t fair for anyone.
I savor tastes, sounds and touches way more deeply than before.
One day I'll share my story about the blackberries with you - Maple Valley, WA August 2, 2026
I am more passionate.
Upcommance is inevitable and necessary.
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
My belief in God, His nature, the tenants of my faith and the afterlife were challenged.
My belief in the nature of humanity was challenged.
I became afraid of frogs.
I am much more capable and stronger than I believed I was. Looking back, it amazes me how I got here. If you would have told me what I would have to endure, I’m not sure I would have gone forward.
I’ve learned not to underestimate baby steps. This has been a journey of ten million steps and a mending of ten thousand broken bones.
Along my morning constitutional. Walking uphill reminds me that I can persevere.
Maple Valley, WA August 12, 2025
I catch myself with my impatience sooner, and say more readily, “Trust the process.” Most things are out of my control, as they should be.
Life is precious and a gift. I don’t take any day for granted. Everyday I intentionally live with love, gratitude and focus on helping others.
We are called to love and serve with kindness. Each person is our brother, our sister, child, parent and grandparent.
Grief is so transformative that I understand why some cultures believe in reincarnation.
I am more acutely aware that most people walk around with invisible pain. We should treat every person with kindness and compassion, understanding that pain is subjective and is a condition of existence for us all.
Most people are trying their best at any given time. When they aren’t, there’s a spiritual crisis of sorts. Apply compassion. Those who live in glass houses...
It takes time for light to travel through the darkness. Just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. We just can’t see it yet. It’s coming.
Pain and joy can coexist.
I don't say, "Let's do this someday," and leave it at that. I start making plans to follow through with the idea.
I can thrive in the aftermath of trauma.
Bucket List Destination: Mesa Verde National Park October 19, 2025
Although forever altered, my light never extinguished. I won't let it.
Grief eventually comes to us all. I have a choice of what to do with my pain- allow myself to succumb to suffering and sour, or fight darkness and not be a victim to it. I’ve refused to let my losses take away my life. I refuse to allow darkness to shroud me.
Walk on.
Bucket List Destination: Glacier in Whittier, Alaska November 10, 2018