Afar

Sometimes I think: I picked the wrong friends.

You’re too damn smart. Life has afforded everyone these great opportunities which consequently have scattered us about the country.  Dave’s out in the desert of New Mexico. Cher is down in Georgia. Mike’s a stone’s throw from Yosemite, and Rich is rooted at Penn State.  A few of you have remained back east, but you’re not even staying in the same places we met. Not many of you are in our hometowns or even where we went to college.  Only one of you lives within driving distance of me, and I’m the one who moved the farthest away from home. 

I hate that we’re all so far away from one another.

All the time I think: I picked the right friends.

No matter how many days or years fly by on the calendar, all of us have remained close.  Do you realize just how rare that is?  All of you I’ve known for over 20 years, a handful over 30 years, but most over 40.  I’m so thankful to say that I’m celebrating the oldest friendship which hits the 50-year mark this autumn.  How blessed am I that I need fingers and toes to tally who my closest friends are!

And I think I know the secret to our longevity. 

So much life has happened during the time we’ve spent apart.  Children.  New spouses. New jobs.  New locations.  Even new religions.  Yet despite all the changes, that which remained has remained luminous:

Your smiles and warm hearts. Your sweet natures and compassion.

Your stunning characters and how you all bring love into a world that desperately needs it.

Your strength and intelligence.  I admire and respect you, holding you all in the highest regard.

And I knew you before we even knew who we were going to become.  I could see you, just as you could see the emerging me, too.  And oh, how you’ve blossomed into even more amazing individuals!

Certainly, life has doled out so much unexpected. I wish we could have been spared.  Yet we knew one another before most of that scratching and tearing apart.  Look how we’ve used those things to make us stronger.  We are made of some pretty tough stuff.  Resilient.

I think it’s amazing how there’s never been a score we’ve kept between us.  Instead, there’s a mutual understanding that despite our lives taking us hither and yon, we don’t measure the value of our friendships based on the number of greeting cards that kiss our mailboxes.  Our long pauses have never generated resentment, guilt, or obligation.  We’re more mature than that.  There’s not even an awkwardness; it’s authentically jubilant when we reconnect.  Every time you text or call or visit, we pick up again just like no time has passed.  I love to share our stories and love it all the more when we make new ones together.

We’re secure in the integrity of our relationships.  We’re bedrock solid.

Thank you, dear ones, for deciding to share some of your steps in this gift of life with me.  I consider myself truly lucky not only to know you, but to be held dear in your hearts like you are forever in mine. 

I love you, my dear friends.